Saturday, September 22, 2007
you're my newfound jealousy
I am
so predictable.
Give me a bloody chance and yes, 99% of the time I will inevitably screw up with it. It has become so characteristic I should probably become the poster child for mismanagement. I discard time, find solace in sleep and very occasionally engage in anything beneficial to myself. Contrary to popular belief, failures do not always equal to success. Most of the time, they accumulate and suffocate you till you give up trying and allow your life to meander on its own accord.
Perhaps 10 years later, when I have a future worthy of breeding in a compost heap, I will regret. I will look back on spent years and naturally the ‘what ifs’ and ‘what coulds’ would follow. The future is a frightening thing. If I am already struggling to juggle nine subjects and a nonexistent social life, I wonder how tumultuous life would become when you shuffle in the other aspects of job, family and god knows what.
Its like there is a storm raging out there for us, and here we are whining over the seemingly innocuous drizzle. Yes, life is not fair. When you came kicking and screaming into this world, looks like the nurse forget to hold up her plaque card, “WELCOME TO PROVERBIAL HELL”. It wasn’t your fault you couldn’t blink out of the white hospital walls into the chaos which navigates the world. If you had, you might have shrunk back into the womb and decried birth.
When we grow up, we are going to struggle through jobs (bitch about your boss conveniently) , bemoan taxes and put your child through the very rat race you tired yourself in. Even if you might not engage in the above, you would still face something predominantly wrecking than facile EYAs. Life’s like that. Its been structured to ensure you throw your hands up in despair atleast once and wish your existence away.
The relevation and cynicism of sorts are a byproduct of pre-EYA deliberation/mugging. All of a sudden I don’t want to grow up anymore. I want to suspend time in its tracks and live in a solitary world. We could sit in circles outside our classroom 24/7 and tell each other ghost stories. Those pretend ghosts would be our only fear, worry. Adulthood might be a tempting haven of freedom. Except even freedom doesn’t come without a price.
Steering back to lightheartedness (relatively) , it seems like Newsweek spoke too soon. Straits Times reported with statistics the increased presence of homophobia all over the world. Singapore it claims has half of its population vehemently against homosexuality. Try as hard as I could, I still cannot manage to comprehend homophobia. Perhaps someone could volunteer to explain this to me so I am enlightened on why exactly homosexuality is the epitome of sin.
You do not choose to be homosexual. It would be dandy if you could wake up one day and decide you wish to experiment with foreplay. Unfortunately emotions and hormones aren’t in our hands to twist and manipulate. Its their way of life. Why can’t you let them live it? I am sure you would enjoy it tremendously if someone were to poke their head through your door and launch themelves into a declaration on how immoral your relationship is merely because it is not in tangent with the rest of the majority. God forbid.
I don’t think Singapore making gay sex illegal is helping either. By actually propagating it as a crime, the government is only convincing people that homosexuality is indeed unprincipled. Perhaps if the government would opt for a more liberal view on the issue, it would initiate people to loosen up with regards to the matter. Honestly, enough of blowing the same trumpet of how a family is the nucleus for the society. A family does not have to parallel the rigid definition of father, mother and child. A family only needs the essential of a caring environment which can be provided by any two people who give a damn regardless of their sexuality. Last I checked, being homosexual does not come with the hindering gene of indolence.
And I don’t think the worry about hackling people’s nerves should plague the government either. Its not like they have not done it before, what with the sensitive issues of minister pay rise and IR. People’s opinions have hardly taken precedence over the will of the government and I don’t see why it should be an exception in this case. I hardly think legalizing homosexuality would spiral Singapore into chaos and throw the ruling party out of power before you can say, ‘Gay’I should refrain from being so bitter, really. As well as stop writing obscenely long posts. As of now, I need to badly put my blog on hiatus so that I can scrape through my EYA’s without too much of a bruise on my GPA. Its already whimpering as I speak.
12:30 PM
